My Dear Screwtape,
Since you
have heretofore been remiss in following my instructions to contact Dungwart
from our Individual Temptation department, I’ve had no choice but to order him
to seek you out directly. The lack of coordination between your divisions
causes us much anxiety down here. I place that blame entirely on your
shoulders. Dungwart has proven an eager pupil and made every effort to shore up
your mission by turning the eyes of millions of individuals to your instruments
of mass corruption. You owe a great debt to him.
You are
done no favors by throwing in my face everything I said about the importance of
mass corruption only to charge me with inconstancy for suggesting you reach out
to your colleague managing the temptation of individuals. If Dungwart had had
control of this division rather than you, perhaps your nephew would’ve been
more successful. Dungwart knows what it means to be a Company Man; something
about which you could stand to learn a few things.
However,
despite the insubordinate tone of your last correspondence, I will indulge you
by countering your argument point by point. And before you respond, you’d do
well to consider how gracious I am being by responding to such allegations the
likes of which require none.
The new
strategy outlined by Hell’s lowerarchy is based on a hammer and anvil approach.
Dungwart’s team conditions humans into a mindset receptive to your students’
propaganda which lines them up single-file to march right into our digestive
tracts. It’s about logistics, that’s all.
In this
scenario, you serve to carve out a trail for those already headed our way. The
purpose of this trail is to remain inviting to the subjects journeying on its
path. The force propelling them is the vacuum created here by the void of
morality. It yanks them in our direction because we offer the path of least
resistance. Life is much easier for them once they either quit being moral or approach
their morality in with obtuse pomposity.
This is all
part of inflicting the spiritual atrophy of which I spoke in the preceding
letter. The stronger a human’s spirit remains, the more able it becomes to swim
against the tide. Usually if you can trigger weakness in their minds – by
encouraging sloth, weakness in their souls soon follows.
The human mind
– like a nice piece of veal – becomes more tender and delectable when denied
the space to move around and firm up its muscle mass. We encourage this state
with the drumbeats of conformity and a repetitious diet of fatty information
that soothes their minds with familiar maxims and clichés; while we’re robbing
it – and therefore the spirit as well - of proper nourishment. Once this has
become familiar to them, they will come to seek out these cages themselves
requiring little effort on our part.
Your job is
to lead those already seeking to nest in our cages. Dungwart’s job is
conditioning them to see our cages as desirable. This is the angle we’re
working. Why serve the Enemy, we get them to ask. Why take on a life of such
trial? Why do you exist if not to be served by others? We pose a dilemma to them that says: Why
strengthen your mind and spirit through labor when you can have a pleasurable
life without any trouble at all?
Your Merciful
Master,
Slubgob
